A Simple Playbook for Managing Your Life During Divorce
Divorce is a season of high‑stakes choices. The way you live day to day—what you say, spend, post, and plan—can shape the outcome of your case and your wellbeing. Here’s a concise, real‑world playbook drawn from proven courtroom guidance to help you make steadier decisions.
Lead with your children.
Put your kids first in every decision, and cooperate around exchanges and extracurriculars—even when it’s inconvenient. Judges notice parents who keep the focus on the children instead of the conflict. Avoid disparaging the other parent; your kids are half you and half your spouse, and negativity hurts them.
Communicate like a pro.
Use the BFP rule: be Brief, Factual, and Polite in all messages. Assume every email, text, voicemail, or social post could be read in court, then write accordingly. If a conversation is heating up, step back; arguments rarely help you. When in doubt, keep it short and civil, and never send a “nasty” message.
Make money choices that support your case.
Be frugal and avoid unusual spending. If a purchase is outside your normal monthly bills, pause—many lawyers recommend not spending more than a set threshold without checking in (e.g., $500). Financial restraint signals stability and prevents allegations of waste.
Go quiet online—and in your love life—for now.
Do not post on social media during your case, and never delete past content; preservation matters. Also avoid new romantic relationships while your matter is pending. These steps minimize distractions, reduce conflict, and protect your credibility.
Protect your record.
Do not violate the law, don’t socialize with people who do, and don’t drink to excess. A single arrest—especially for drugs or alcohol—can reshape custody and credibility overnight. Choose environments that keep you calm, safe, and sober.
Plan ahead and follow orders to the letter.
Read every court order carefully—including any standing orders in your county—and follow them exactly. Anticipate potential problems and tell your lawyer early; two weeks’ notice is far better than 24 hours. If you need to travel out of state, give advance notice to your spouse and your attorney—ideally at least a month—unless it’s an emergency.
A few final guardrails:
don’t discuss your case with anyone but your legal team, and call your lawyer whenever you’re unsure about a decision. These habits lower stress, keep you compliant, and help your attorney protect you effectively.
None of this replaces legal advice for your specific facts. But if you use these principles as a daily checklist—kids first, BFP communications, frugal spending, digital silence, sober living, strict compliance—you’ll make better choices under pressure and set yourself up for a healthier next chapter.
